Photography has become so much of who I am now and that's why I'm posting this on my family blog. It's become en grained in me. It's become so much of *who* I am. Many who know me just don't understand and that's okay, or at least it's becoming more okay for me. I've finally found something that drives me, invokes passion and feeling. Something that gives me ambition and something that I can actually do and understand. I've never been good at anything (expect softball back in the OLD days ha). It has woke something in me and for that I'm so grateful! It's given me confidence...which I really needed. It's helped me grow and find myself, as strange as that may sound. For my fellow photographers reading this, I know you will understand how this has transformed me...as I'm sure it has for you too.
A big part of photography for me is finding who you are as a photographer. I don't know that yet. But I think I'm starting that part of my journey. The last couple weeks have been very thought invoking. Who am I as a photographer and what do I want to convey to others in my images? I don't know all the answers yet, but I'm getting there...FINALLY!
I've never considered myself a photographer before. I'm not exactly sure what I thought that title meant. Like it was only for higher ups that had being doing this for decades and making a grip of money. A MWAC (mom with a camera) couldn't be a photographer. Well as I learn so much with photography and editing, I'm starting to get more comfortable with the title. That you don't have to be a big wig pro to be a photographer. You don't have to be in business and making money from it even. You have to love it, find what it means to you and follow your heart. Stay true to YOUR vision. To me, that's what the title means. So I'm feeling more comfortable using that title.
I work very hard to learn photography. I don't just pick up my expensive camera (doesn't seem so expensive anymore) and push a button. Nothing wrong with that at all. But for me, the technical aspect of it drives me. That has NEVER happened before. I've never wanted to learn so much about something in my life! I've worked very hard to learn exposure. To understand my camera's light meter. To know how my camera sees a scene vs how I see a scene. I've worked very hard on learning how to properly expose different skin tones and when to use different AF modes and metering modes. To know the limitations of cameras. To learn how to get around the limitations of cameras, in camera and in editing. I've worked very at learning editing. So you see...this isn't just a passing thing. This is my PASSION. Everything from before I take a shot and decide how I'll take it to editing it and posting it here.
I get people who ask me from time to time why I am not in business and if I will ever go into business? That I don't know. I do know that just because you have a nice camera and know how to use it, doesn't mean you HAVE to go into business. If you want to great. But you don't have too. I see many who get a nice camera and learn a little about it and BAM...business name and license. That's great for them...but that's now what I want. I've toyed with the idea. But a few things stop me...I know what I DON'T know. I know how much I still have to learn. There is much more to a photography business that playing with your camera and pictures. You owe the client to know what you are doing and give them the best possible final images. And bottom line for me, I'm enjoying what I'm doing now. I get to do this for me...for the love and passion it brings me and for nothing else. No pressure, no stress. Not having to worry about the economy and how it will hurt me. I've invested a big chunk of change into photography and people think I'm crazy because I'm not making money from it. But that's okay. I love quality...in my equipment and my final images. So I'm willing to pay for it and not make money from it. Maybe one day I will decide to turn this love of mine into a business. If I ever feel ready. But I also know that even if I don't, that I am 100% okay with doing this just for me!
And now the one thing I do know for sure about me as a photographer is that I like images that invoke thoughts and feelings. And for that, I lean more toward real life photography. Also known as "Photojournalistic" photography. Real life moments captured forever. That means a lot to me. The other thing I've known for a while but is really becoming more true to me, is that I like images that have a more artsty creative feel. I love a clean image, don't get me wrong. But turn a picture into a creative work of art and my heart feels the image. I don't know why this is and I've always second guessed that part of me. But I'm truly getting to a place that is okay with that. Images that speak to me is all that matters, regardless of who else gets them. Some think it's wrong to take a beautifully exposed, perfectly focused image and muck it up with creative edits and an artsty feel. So I would fight it, thinking that I shouldn't love it so much!
But then I find photographers online that truly inspire me. That evoke so much emotion that I realize that that is where my heart truly is and what truly makes me happy! I think part of what I've struggled with is people not getting this part of me. Thinking I'm weird or odd to have fallen so deeply in love with it...all of it! Not being understood. But I now also realize that that is part of what's been holding me back!
Whether it's understood or not...photography (as with any art/creative outlet) should be true to who you are and what you love. Second guessing yourself only takes the love and joy out of it for me.
So in celebration of starting to find myself as a photographer/editor, I wanted to share some shots that speak to who I am and what *I* see through my lens. The images that invoke something in me. These have all been taken at different times in my journey. But one thing holds true to each and everyone...I shot was I saw and what moved me!
This is my life as *I* see it and I LOVE it! Now just to work on spending less time on the computer! Ha!
If you got this far, thanks for looking and caring! I hope this post finds you all WELL! :O)
